So, it’s Monday night. I’m sitting on my front porch, just watched the sunset and I am thinking that it is ridiculously cool to be August. And I feel like I need to share. Why? Cuz, some of you are waiting for it. And just cuz.
I have a lot going on in my heart right now. It hurts. I sit and think over the past week and I see so much of it the way God sees it. I see the effects a 4 month old from Uganda’s life has on people around the world. I am grateful that last Thursday at work was so crazy- so we can move on and move forward. But my heart hurts.
My heart hurts that I have friends who are currently half way around the world from home who just buried their daughter’s house in the ground in Birmingham. That they were unable to put the dirt in the hole themselves because of the way Americans do things. That they must somehow come up with eight thousand dollars, give or take, so their family as a whole can return to visit the place they visited today.
My heart hurts because it is the price we must pay while we live on this round piece of dirt and stuff we call Earth. To long for heaven. To long to be whole, to be with Him. Fully. Face to face. And my heart hurts because the next thing is coming. The next hard thing here on this planet.
Don’t get me wrong- I am NOT defeated. I am just weary. My Lord is amazing and strong. He has shown himself faithful. Never once in the past 4 days have I said “why?” I saw Melanie before she died. I know she is free. But to be burdened to pray for others can make one weary. To carry burdens to the Lord is a treasure, an honor, and I would rather do nothing else. I love to serve. To be of service. To help others where I can, to do what I can, to enable them to do what they do, and do it well. To laugh, to love, to pray, and be there.
All the way home from Birmingham today I listened to 2 songs- from Kari Jobe. Part of one says:
“I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weaknesses
I know that you have come down
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me of who you are.”
I’m Singing:
Only one name lasts forever
Only one fame stands alone
Only one king has an anthem
That goes on and on and on
And I’m singing to the God who brings redemptions to the nations
Kings and oceans bow to im in praise
And I’m singing to the God who wrote the book on our salvation
To the one who covers me in grace, I’m singing
Only one word in the beginning
Only one truth with prevail
Only one love brings a freedom
Only one man took the nails
Praise, praise to the Savior
Praise, to the Lamb of God
Praise in all of His splendor
Praise for saving my life.
I’m not sure why I am sharing all this. I guess so for those of you who think I am superwoman and never get tired- I do. For those of you who think I have no chinks in my armor- I do.
But what I love about where I am is that He is my strength. He is my song. He is a God of surprises. Like encountering a sister in Christ yesterday morning at church who has an amazing voice, wrote an amazing song, and then yesterday at Melanie’s service blessed us again with her gifts. It makes my heart smile.
And for a few minutes to be at work today and have residents say that they missed seeing me this morning. For one to wave from across the room happy to see me. No ulterior motives- they just missed seeing me. It makes a weary heart smile.
For the words of encouragement you have sent to me, to the Sserunjogi’s- thank you. Your prayers have been felt, and your words of encouragement have brought smiles. My Ugandan friends will be in country til the 15th and plan to be in Auburn the 11-13th. I will let you know more details when I have them. Please continue to pray for them- for their loss is something I am familiar, but completely unaware of. They are not hopeless, just grieving.
I leave you with Psalm 146 as we read at Melanie’s service yesterday….
And the question- If God says He can do the impossible, and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me do I live like I believe it?
Psalm 146
1 Praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD, O my soul.
2 I will praise the LORD all my life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
3 Do not put your trust in princes,
in mortal men, who cannot save.
4 When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
on that very day their plans come to nothing.
5 Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the LORD his God,
6 the Maker of heaven and earth,
the sea, and everything in them—
the LORD, who remains faithful forever.
7 He upholds the cause of the oppressed
and gives food to the hungry.
The LORD sets prisoners free,
8 the LORD gives sight to the blind,
the LORD lifts up those who are bowed down,
the LORD loves the righteous.
9 The LORD watches over the alien
and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.
10 The LORD reigns forever,
your God, O Zion, for all generations.
Praise the LORD.