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Big ol bite in the butt

You ever have something you say come back and bite you in the butt.? (Apologies to all those who have issues with “butt” but this is my blog and that’s how I am thinking it…so I just gotta say it.)  I mean, it hurts.  Like a big rabid dog taking a chunk?  (I got bit by a dog once when I was little- scared me to death because I thought for a good 15 minutes I might have rabies and have to get shots and that was terrifying…more so than the bloodless bite on my leg).  Anyway…

So I didn’t really SAY this, but it came back around to me in such a way today I am once again amazed by God’s perfect timing.  This is awfully scattered- let me start at the beginning.

So if you read my last post, you know I have been on the run.  But in the midst of being on the run I have flung some truth out to some folks.  I finally finished a book a couple of weeks ago- Louie Giglio (Love the way the Lord speaks through that man).  It’s “I am not, but I know I AM”  I finished reading it, and a day later quoted about half a page or more to a friend of mine before I handed it off to her.  I told her she needed to read it and specifically a couple of chapters here and there. (Because I am so wise I know exactly what she needs to be reading…yeah, right).

Anyway.  Turns out she finished it.  It also turns out her dtr. In college saw her reading it and decided to pick it up and read it too.  And she did.  Read it in a day.  Yep. A DAY.  And then pretty much turns around immediately and typed up a pretty great summary of it all.  Quotes and all.  And put it on Facebook.  And tagged me in it. 

So here I am, basking in the light of “I’m so glad I am not running anymore” (I’ll blog on that in a little bit) and I get an email from the FB people…you got tagged.  I read the note and wept.  The truth I shared in book form with another came back to bite me in the butt.  In the most powerful way possible.  It was exactly what I needed to hear today.  The Lord’s perfect timing. 

Because, yet again I am still processing.  Pretty much figured out I would be okay, absolutely okay with staying or going.  With here or Uganda (or somewhere else).  And a friend tells me that she feels like she should be going to Uganda and how it may be that I am where I am so that she could know that.  So now I am thinking “Oh great, all this so I can get others to go and experience amazingness and I am stuck here!”  And the Lord says “Why?  Are you not going to be okay with that?” 

I want to be okay with it.  I want to say that is absolutely fine.  But somewhere in my heart I am not satisfied with it.  Where once I said “I want to help send people out there.  To see what God has in store for them.”  I now say “I want to go.  I want to be out there.  I want to be in the middle of it.”  Funny thing is, I may be in the middle of it.

So once again, I am back where I started.  The same place as this morning.  Saying “Yes”  Simply that.  To the next moment.  To the next divine appointment.  To the craziness of life.  Whatever that looks like.   And when I get down the road and look back I will see where it all goes and what it all was supposed to look like.   And today.  Today.  I am okay with that.  For the first time in awhile I am okay with that again.  With Him.  With here.  With the process.

So about that bite in the butt?  I needed it.  Desperately needed it to remind me of the truth of HIS word.  Of HIS plan.  Of HIM.  Because HE IS.  i am not.  “I AM”

God is good and He is perfect.  And so is HIS timing.

And I promise- everyday here won’t be a play by play…but I felt the need to put it out there. The other side.  The good side of trusting again.  It’s messy too. 

And hope she doesn’t mind but read on you'll see her FB post… you need to read it.  Then get the book.  Then read the original that inspired the book (the B-I-B-L-E).

 read the most incredible book today. Yeah.....I read the WHOLE book in one day. I literally could not put it down. A friend gave it to my mom and after I saw her nose glued in it the past couple of weekends I decided I would check it out when she finished. The title captured me at first but the text was absolutely what I needed to hear. God spoke to me so clearly through this book. He made me feel at peace but overwhelmed with tears.
I might be behind.....some of you might have already heard about it and read it.......but others, like me, might not have even heard of it until now! Let me know if you buy it and if God speaks to you like He did me! " i am not but i know I AM " Louie Giglio

Here are a few passages from the book that completely blew me away............................


" I am not, but He knows my name. 
I am not, but He has pursued me in His love.
I am not, but I have been purchased and redeemed.
I am not, but I have been invited into His Story, THE STORY.
I am not, but I know the Creator of the universe.
I am not, but I know I AM. "

" God was telling Moses during the story at the burning bush...............
I AM the center of everything
I AM running the show
I AM the same everyday forever
I AM the owner of everything
I AM the Lord
I AM the Creator and Sustainer of life
I AM the Savior
I AM more than enough
I AM inexhaustible and immeasurable
I AM GOD.

In a heartbeat, Moses knew God's name-and something more. He finally knew his. For if God's name is I AM, Moses' name must be I am not.
I am not the center of everything
I am not in control
I am not the solution
I am not all powerful
I am not calling the shots
I am not the owner of anything
I am not the Lord

That's my name too. And yours. I AM NOT. Just try it under your breath. "MY NAME IS I AM NOT!" 
I am not running anything
I am not head of anything
I am not in charge of anything
I am not the maker
I am not the savior
I am not holding it all together
I am not all-knowing
I am not GOD. "

One chapter of the book gave me a whole new perspective on the Sabbath........... It explained that "the day of rest" is not your normal, lazy, Sunday afternoon nap......but SO MUCH MORE!
" But be encouraged. Today is the Sabbath. Oh, it may not literally be Sunday, but Sabbath is a state of mind and attitude of the heart. Sabbath happens anywhere and everywhere we let go of the controls and lay the cares of our lives at His feet.
So where is your future right now? Where is the outcome of your pressing dilemma? Is it in your hands? Is it in the hands of a businessman or woman? Is it in the hands of a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife? Is it in the hands of a team of doctors?
Or is you life and all that concerns you, in the hands of the God who constructed the universe effortlessly in one week?
If you want more rest and less "stressed" declare this very moment your Sabbath - the place where you pry your fingers off of the circumstances and people who you are trying so desperately to control, the place you discover that life does work better in His hands instead of yours. "

The book explains how God has invited us to be apart of HIS STORY, THE STORY........but He is the Star. NOT US!
How do we know when we have slipped back into the story of us? We know when we see these telling signs:
When I live like I am privileged, I have lost the plot. In other words, when I start acting like I deserve a certain outcome or a higher standard of life, I have failed to strike the fatal blow to self and am living like I actually have rights in this world apart from God.
When I am demanding, I have lost the plot, insisting that God and others meet my needs on a timetable that I see fit.
When I act pompous, I have lost the plot, thinking that I am somebody while only providing that I haven't had a good look at God today.
When I crumble under pressure, I have lost the plot, declaring the outcome of life rests squarely on my shoulders, not His.
When I start protecting, I have lost the plot, marking turf as though it were actually mine and forgetting that I have comes first from above.
When I crave the spotlight for myself, I have lost the plot, losing sight of the story line and the one true Star. And every time I do it I waste one of life's fleeting chances to make my life truly count by amplifying Him.
When I fail to celebrate the successes of others who are living for His fame, I have lost the plot, thinking that possibly we are on different teams when we actually share supporting roles in the same story.

When I dwell on feelings of being uninvolved, unnoticed, or insignificant, I have lost the plot, abandoning the miracle of knowing God on a first-name basis.
All of these privilege, demanding, arrogant, frazzled, turf-protecting, glory-stealing, self-loathing moments are nothing more than a clarion call alerting us to the fact that it's time to die to self again, reminders that the life of smallness requires vigilant watch and constant willingness to strike the fatal blow in the heart of me. 
* But to die to self is to gain an unfathomable scale - a daily funeral that is nothing more than the doorway to a life filled with the matchless WONDER OF ALL THAT HE IS!!!


And in the days to come, when you are questioning, needing, searching, wondering, asking, and struggling, you will find His sufficiency at the end of every desperate prayer. When you cry out all the things that you are not, you will know His answer is, " I AM." 
FOR EVERY CRY THERE IS AN ANSWER:
I need help. I AM
I need hope. I AM
Who could possibly be smart enough to figure this out? I AM
What works? I AM
What lasts? I AM 
What's the latest thing? I AM
What's the hippest thing? I AM
I need a fresh start. I AM
I need a bigger story. I AM 
My vision is bigger than my resources. I AM
Nothing's real anymore. I AM
Who can I trust? I AM
I'm not sure who's on my team. I AM
Nobody's listening to me. I AM
I don't have a prayer. I AM
My marriage is sinking and I don't know where to turn. I AM
I can't hold on. I AM
My kids deserve more. I AM
I'm pouring into others, who's pouring into me? I AM 
If we fail who will get the job done? I AM
I'm not sure why I'm here. I AM
I've given all I can give and it's not enough. I AM
I'm tired. I AM
I quit! I AM

I can't! I AM
I need a drink. I AM
I need a fix. I AM
I need a lover. I AM
Somebody just hold me. I AM
....................And what does this great I AM say of Himself? He says to you and to me: "I am the way, I am the truth, and I am the life. I am the ressurection and the life. I am Savior. I am Jesus - the solution, the restorer, the builder, the answer, the Wise One, the Coming One, the Mighty One. I am the Lord and there is no other. I am God and there is none besides Me. I am the First and the Last. I am Alpha and Omega. I am the Beginning and the End. I am the Lord, that is My name, and I will not give My glory to another, or any of My praise to idols. 
I AM THAT I AM, and that is My name - My memorial name to every generation."

Where have you been?

Sorry for my absence.  For those of you who follow along with my world here I apologize.  It’s been strange and weird.

 

For those of you who know me in real life and you wonder where I have been or what in the world has been going on, I apologize.  It’s been weird lately.

 

For those of you reading my blog for the first time today- it’s been weird lately.  Welcome to my world.

 

Here’s the story:

Since early last fall the Maker of the Universe, the Lord Almighty, My Best Friend, has been leading me on a journey.  Destination (in this world) not quite known.  His continual call to me has been “Be Available.”   And some days that is comforting.  Some days it has scared me to death.  Lately the second. 

 

·      I willingly sold my house- looking forward to getting out of debt.

·      I was willing to sell my car and get a clunker so I could get out of debt on that.  God’s plan was different- some gracious brother/sister in Christ blessed me with paying it off. 

·      I quit my job last fall to focus on what I love- telling people about Christ.  Mostly through practical things.  And loving on the people of the world.  I ended up without a job for 7 weeks.

·      I worked at Chick Fil A sticking my head, food, and money out the window for short of 4 months.  I learned a lot about service there.  I am grateful for that time.

·      And now I work at a place I never would have imagined I would have worked.  It is a challenge each day.  Challenge as in some days great, some days really tough.

·      And In the spring I felt the Lord asking me to give up something else- My title of “Missions Coordinator”  Really?  I loved it.  I loved what I got to do.  To take teams of people around the world, the nation, the community sharing Christ.  To see God work through us all to impact eternity.  And to challenge others to press in to what God has for them on a daily basis.  Now I have to give that up?  REALLY?  What I am I going to do then Lord? I am not ready to move to the other side of the world. I don’t know what else to DO. I haven’t really been so okay with this latest request. 

This leads me to the strange weird part of my world. 

 

I am no longer “Coordinating Missions” for a church.  I continue to work with Patrick and Bridge Africa and Lisa Pierce with Alabama Rural Ministries.  And the mission field that is my work (and it is HUGE).  But this has left me in a strange place.  I don’t feel like I fit in.  Cornerstone Church is not a place that I fit in anymore.  No, there is NOTHING that the church, the staff there, or anyone did.  It’s just not my place anymore.  So where to go, what to do? 

 

I would tell you that I am going to move to Uganda next year.  But I don’t know that.  I would tell you that I am going to work at the Nursing Home for the next 5 years.  But I don’t know that.  I would tell you where I am going to live after my time at the cabin is done.  But I don’t know that. 

 

And it is very hard to say “I don’t know.”  Continually to those who ask me what is going on my life.  So have been pretty much on the move.  As in “moving targets are harder to hit.” Yep, been running.  Because I don’t know how to answer the questions.  How to put a good “spin” on things lately because I haven’t been feeling too excited about it all.  Because it scares the ever living snot out of me. 

 

That perhaps I am going to move across the world somewhere.  To a place I have to learn a whole new language.  Learn to like the food longterm.  Miss my friends the Lord has blessed me with.  And I am not okay with that right now.  I stopped saying “NO” to the Lord about moving overseas earlier this year.  I stopped saying “NO” to the Lord about a bunch of things this year.  But since my return from Uganda in May I pretty much have avoided the Lord when It comes to  MY life because I am afraid what He is going to require of me next. 

 

Trust me, I love to speak truth into others lives.  And I have been.  I love to hear what God is doing in and for everyone else.  But lately I have been skimming by because I don’t want to own up to the fact that He is/may be calling me to things that stretch me further than I can imagine.

 

I know that if He is calling me somewhere- it will be perfect.  The fact that I am single won’t matter- He will provide exactly what my heart needs.  That I will love the food “there.”  That I will love the new language.  That if He is calling me to stay here and be “the Bridge” and work at the nursing home, it will be perfect.  I just have to let go of “ME” doing it. 

 

So please know that I am in process.  And in the midst of this process it has been messy.  And it has been hard for me to talk to people about it.  Because it exposes a lot of my flaws and faults.  And I have to actually own up to who I  really am.  And turn that over.   And claim who HE wants me to be.   And where HE wants me to be. 

 

I am in the middle of taking a few days to seek His face (yep, scary.) To seek His Truth.  To seek HIM.  And in the midst of being still before Him hear what He has to tell me about what is “Next.” Whether it be the next step, the whole story, or nothing.  And to be okay with that. 

 

For HE is Perfect.  And so are His ways. 

 

So know if the blog is quiet- it’s because I am still trying to figure out what to say.  And know that I appreciate you checkin in.

 

Uganda updates

I don't know if I adequately expressed my amazement and thankfulness regarding my team mates that went on the May trip.  

And I didn't get a chance to link to Catherine Wise and Lauren Bond's pages, so let me do that now.  Catherine is a student at Alabama (yeah, she begged me to come so I let her).  And Lauren is her friend from Auburn- they have known each other from back in the day.  They had decided before we went that they would stay until June 12th working at some schools and clinics/hospitals.  I finally got a chance to read their posts since we left and I think that you HAVE to read it! 

It delights my heart to read how God is presenting opportunities for these women and they are seizing them.  How the Holy Spirit is bringing people to saving knowledge of the Lord.  And it breaks my heart to read about the needs they have encountered with the people there.  

I encourage you to take a step over to their blogs and be challenged.  And encouraged.  

Car Washin

So, I live out in the boonies (sort of, but not really) and I don't have internet nor do I have any sort of television system currently set up to watch any broadcast tv.  So if you don't hear from me- that is why.  Rest assured I have tons to do in my quiet (except for my blaring stereo). 

I am going to try to work on somethings that will post later in the week so if you are a regular reader I won't leave you in the dark.  Some things on Uganda.  Some things on what God is doing.  Some randomness. 

Here is the first thing- 

I love my car to be clean.  More so the inside and the windows than anything.  It hasn't been for quite a time.  Moving a couple of times and going to Uganda has hindered my time to vacuum out the car. Right after my return from Uganda I was introduced to the Goo Goo Express Wash.  I never knew such a thing existed.  Not the drive thru 2 dollar version.  The people scrubbing your car before the wash version.  For those of you not familiar, let me introduce you:

You drive in, you pay.  After you pay you pull up and there is an employee, generally they are smiling and hustling.  And they have on khaki's and a red striped shirt.  They spray your windshield with something, spray your wheels with something, and scrub your front bumper, tires and the back of your side mirrors with a cloth spongy thing to get the bugs off.  Then they help drive your car onto the conveyor belt thing. Then you are directed to put your car in neutral, foot off the brake, and you are on your way. 

After a whole lot of craziness going on outside the car you come out the other end of the building with a clean car.  Then amazingly enough they offer a bonus "free" vacuum and even a floor mat cleaner machine.  I say "free" because I did just pay for the car wash.  But you know what I mean. And as I used the amazingly sucky vacuum I could not help but to think about the whole process.  I mean the paying to get my car washed process.  

I was thankful for people who helped me.  For the friendliness.  For being able to live in a country where this ridiculous service can happen.  (in Uganda the guy who washes the car has a jerry can and a rag...but the car comes out amazingly clean...and it lasts about 2 minutes).  I felt at the end of the the process like I was starting over. 

This may not change your view on God, the universe, or blow your mind into any new understanding but I felt the need to share... In the process- we need the craziness, someone to help us on our way, the wind whoosing, the water shooting you in the face, some sweat, investment.  The process is messy, but worth it.  And I like to thank those who helped me too...that is a little harder cuz your window is all rolled up so you don't get wet.  Next time I am making a sign.  

so i forgot

Well, it's Thursday.  Been home since Saturday from Uganda.  Here is the run down of the events of my week:

Saturday- walked in my house and realized as my houseparent types had a posse here... "I have to move this week."

Sunday- stuffed my face with some amazing Chicken Enchiladas and 3 types of dip like I had not eaten in a month.  Caught up on at least 6 hours of tv in about 4 hours or less.  Went to Monkeytown, saw some of my fam, stopped at Krispy Kreme and got back to town

Monday- Back to work, left work at 2:30 whooped tired

Tuesday- woke up, couldn't walk straight, felt very strange all morning..almost (I stress ALMOST) to the point of going to the MD.  Prayer works (thanks peeps- you know who you are) and it got better.  And it wasn't my inner ear... Worked till 7pm. Moved a load to my future home.

Wednesday- work. And some sweet time with some sweet residents at work.

Thursday- Work and work.  Then home late and finally catching up on a few things.  

AND THEN IT HIT ME.  I haven't checked Google Reader in like...forever.  Since probably Amsterdam where I had crazy fast internet and posted the blog in record time. 

Why do I find this so astounding?  Because I suddenly felt lost.  There are friends I sort of keep up with from a distance through their blogs.  I felt disconnected.  Then I read their blogs and found I had not missed too much.  However there were a few that rocked my world.  God's faithfulness shining through their lives. I am thankful they share their lives and hearts in their blogs.  Other blogs I read folks...not so much.  So for you bloggy types- Thank you if you live transparently through your blogs and share what God is up to.  For those readers- Thank you for reading along and offering words of wisdom and encouragement with your sharing to me. Even if you are too chicken to post the comment and you email me instead :) I appreciate you sharing your life.

 

I guess what I am trying to say is: I feel connected to those of you out their who blog honestly.  Sharing your heart as God works in it.  If you know Him personally.  If you don't know Him- your honesty as you talk about that too.  So thanks. 

any takers for helping me move some stuff I got on Saturday...?

stuck

so here i am in the schipol amsterdam airport. watching the people walk by.  and i feel weird. 

 

as i sit here and watch the people walk by, using a crazy fast internet connection, i cannot help but think of what in the world is going on.  my friends in Buloba are just beginning to wake.  the roosters are probably crowing and the dawn is breaking.  and i am in a big airport with thousands of folks going to i don't know how many places.  the contrast is so stark.  

but as i sit here, i cannot help but think of my God.  our God.  and how he is intimately aware of everyone.  everything.  everywhere.  that as the sun rose when we were landing and the sky was beautiful pink and purple and the sun a brillant orange- HE. DID. THAT.  and it was good. 

and He loves me.  with an everlasting love.  and He loves you.  with a redeeming, overwhelming, everlasting, powerful love.  His word is TRUTH.  and i wonder how many people here in amsterdam, in this airport have no concept of these simple, eternity shifting truths.  and i pray and wonder- what can i do about that?  it almost makes me want to stand up at this rail behind me and shout at the top of my lungs- HE IS LORD.  HE LOVES YOU.  YOU NEED TO KNOW HIM.  not just 'know' Him.  but to know Him- as in saving knowledge.  the making Him Lord of your life.  as in, the flip your world upside down, and you will never be the same knowing.  and the knowing that makes you realize how blessed you are to be His, and how unimportant so many of the 'things' we 'value' are.  

i love my life.  i love Him more.  hope at the end of the day you do to. 

1 Peter 2:9- But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light."

African names

So, we got to receive African names this week- here they are.  We are honored to have them.  And to have them chosen by our Ugandan friends.

Lauren- Mirembe which means peace

Jordan- Kirungi which means good thing

Catherine- Sanye which means joy, happiness, gladness

Amanda- Kirabo which means gift, a present

Andi- Namusoke which means, rainbow, a sign of redemption, God's covenant

Morgan- Kwagala which means Love

Josh- Agaba which means giving

So when you see us, be sure to call us by our new names.  We don't answer to the old ones...

random thoughts from a restless heart- Wed night

Okay, so it’s 3pm in the land that most of my stuff is.  It is 11pm where my body resides and my heart is currently caught up in what God is doing.  And since I have been trying to sleep for the past hour and it is not working I thought I would give up and get up and spend some time pondering aloud about what is going on here.  Less of a report of daily events and more of rambling thoughts about the goodness of God.  So here goes.

 

Sunday the Buloba church was proudly displaying their new speakers and amp set up (thanks Brian) but the generator wasn’t sufficient to power it continually so it cut off- protect mode.  So we bought them a new generator.  Got to deliver it today.  They were so excited they took it out and started it up.  With nothing to hook it up to.  Then they wanted to hook up the set up but the gas ran out… they will work on it tomorrow and be ready on Friday when we all say goodbye.  And what is great is the Jesus Film guy- Jonathan picked out this particular generator so it could power the sound system as well as lights for the church building when the lights get up.   Buloba Community Church is on the move up!  And they can use the system to show films in town or to do what they call crusades down in town to preach.  Such simple stuff that has been previously unattainable.  And they give glory to God for the gifts because they know that HE is answering prayers!

 

I cannot explain to you how proud I am of this team.  I wish I could express to you their excitement today about being able to share Christ during Door to door today.  They were sharing all the way from Buloba home about what went on and the stories they had.  Unfortunately I sit in the front of the van and could only hear about a third of what they were saying.  I am going to give them homework to turn in stories I can post next week. : )

 

And I am so proud of them as they hauled water from the protected well…the run off well.  They all hauled it up the ¾ mile trip with little complaint.  (Especially Lauren who had Pastor Isaac helping her…and she thought she could be tricky! : )  I know that Jordan just took off up the hill with the can on his head and didn’t look back.  Morgan had a few more issues with the leaking can all over her.  But little UPS Moses walked all the way with her.   About a third of the way up the trek Morgan stopped, grabbed her wet tshirt and said "I am SO sorry you have to do this every day."    He didn’t understand so we had to explain that she was proud of him being able to haul water every day and sorry that she he had to do it.  It was such a picture to me of the understanding we gain and the way we find fellowship with these people.  The blessing that we have to step briefly into their lives and experience a little of what they go through.  And it was a picture to me of Morgan's heart for the Ugandan people.  I saw it repeatedly in each team member at many points in time.  

 I learned a new phrase- You can do it!  But I have since forgotten…I didn’t write it down!  These people are servants.  And they love the kids.  Playing with them all the time, reading with them, drawing on the chalkboard to practice words, learning new things from them.  I have been blessed to see them in action. 

 

And it has been great to have time this trip to just sit and talk with people.  I went with Patrick downtown (away from main street) to a woman’s home that we visited last summer but she wasn’t there= she is in the hospital due to a mental issue.  While over there we asked if I could have the car tag off her car.  They said yes, for a price. So that was a fun detour.  After I got back to the church I got to spend some time with Sister Anna- she is the cook for the church/school/sponsor program and Alice- the aunt of Merci.  They asked a lot of questions about home and if I knew how to do certain things or how things worked back home.  They laughed a lot when I told them I did indeed know how to “dig.”  Because they think most Americans don’t.  I told them there are probably quite a few who don’t but girls down South raised in the country like myself do!  And to spend more time with Pastor Eva and Isaac and to get to know Brother Godfrey (the lead worker for the child sponsorship who was himself once a sponsored child with Compassion).  A-mazing.

 

And I haven’t shared about Joseph down the street- the day we went door to door across the swamp we were requested to stop and pray for a lady in a home.  Her grandson also needed prayer.  He looked to be about 3 and was deaf and lame in both arms and feet- it looked like he was born mentally and physically handicapped at birth.  He could barely crawl and just sat and drooled.  But he had this funny sort of smile on his face.  As I prayed I asked the Father “what do I pray?  What is YOUR will?  Will you set him free or will you teach his family to love him as he IS?”  We all prayed and Pastor Eva said that they should bring him to prayer services at the church.  Have I mentioned they have prayer service every other Friday night from 9 till about 4am?  They are SERIOUS about reaching their community!

 

To see and hear people almost daily coming to know Christ is just overwhelming to my heart.  To hear Amanda say with a smirk today “I got four.”  Then for her to continue by saying   “Four out of five people I visited today prayed to receive Christ.”  Wow.  I told her it was easy focheesy for her now so she better get on it when she gets home!  : )  It is so sweet to hear that people are trusting their lives to Christ and His saving power! 

 

And this morning little Resty- one of my sponsor kids (whom I realized Sunday has been at Buloba since my FIRST visit) brought me a gift- a handwoven mat by her grandmother.  She was so proud to present it to me.  And as the morning went on she was laying around on a bench outside and right before lunch they found me to tell me she had a fever and was laying down in Simon’s house.  She was just so still and pitiful.  And the ONE day I did not bring the first aid kit!  (you past teams will understand how severe that is that I FORGOT the first aid kit….my right hand!)  But I found some Tylenol in my bag and gave her a half of one- I figured it wouldn’t do too much liver damage.  In an hour and half or so she was getting back to her spunky self.  I think all the walking the past 2 days with us shoved her over the edge.  The kids would walk with us until their legs fall off I think!

 

And as I travel through Uganda I pray and ask the Lord what HIS plan for me in all this is… I love coming here and my heart breaks to leave and when I am not here.  But I feel so out of sorts when I am here…a white person trying to help.  Bringing in her Jesus to “fix” people.  But then in Buloba I walk with Eva and hear her heart for the people to know Him.  And I hear Pastor Isaac talk about God’s word to people and it delights my heart.  And I look down the road and see how things are ending for me in one way and I wonder where they are leading.  I desire to know so soon, but God continues to say “Be Available.  Give it to me.  Just say ‘Yes’ to the possibilities.”  And I have to simply say yes.  When it pains my heart to say I cannot.  I know HE can.  When it hurts to say I must finish things I love I know that there are other things coming that will be perfect in HIS time.  Does this mean I am moving to Uganda?  I don’t know.  I just know I have to say that right now I am not saying No to the idea if it is His plan. 

 

I know my heart will hurt Friday because I know that I will not be coming in the fall with the team.  I will miss my friends.  I will miss my kids.  I will miss this place my heart loves- because I see Jesus in the people here.  I have seen what His power through His people can do.  Both those in the states and the ones here.  The prayers and gifts of those in the states have enabled his people to do the work here.  And it has been amazing, life changing work.  And it will continue. 

 

To God be the honor and praise.  And I am thankful to Him beyond words because I have been a small part of it.  I have been able to be witness to it.  And I cannot wait to return to see what God has done in a year.  And to see my friends and family here in Uganda.  It is overwhelming to think of the God sized possibilities and those who will be part of the kingdom because of Buloba Community Church trusting in his Saving power and Truth.   I don’t know how to spell it but the word is “neanziza nnyo”  I am grateful.  

Last day

So it’s 1:15 am Saturday in my body and it is 5:18pm Friday in Alabama.  I am cruising at 35000 feet up and who knows how fast.  And my heart is broken in a billion pieces.  The good kind of hurt that makes you want to do more for the Lord and the kind of hurt because you wish you could do more. 

 

Here is a recap of the day…

We woke up a little later today because we got so much done on Thursday in Jinja and at the market.  We headed out to Buloba with a little apprehension knowing today was the day we would say goodbye.  We spent time hanging out, talking and playing with the adults and kids.  Some of the sponsor children were bringing us notes and little gifts to take home to some of the sponsors.  Mostly we sat and laughed and took it all in.  Lauren busted out the first aid kit and took care of some leg wounds for some of the kids.  It was great to see and some of the kids thought it was kind of humerous. 

 

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I know that in the back of my head I was counting down the hours until it was time we had to leave.  My little friend Resty had come to greet us and had been playing.  Next thing I know she is standing in front of me with the most pitiful face.  Her grandmother was saying that her stomach hurt and she didn’t feel well.  I took her in my lap and was holding her on the couch…she was shaking with fever and then began to throw up.  We took her out back and she just sat in my lap shaking, being pitiful, and then getting up to throw up.  Her grandmother said that she had malaria.  My heart broke for her- something so simple to prevent and yet something that they deal with in Uganda.  I wanted to fix it for her, but I could not.  So I offered her words of reassurance and sat her back in my lap until they left to take her to the doctor (the sponsor program would pay for it).   Needless to say, as her grandmother carried her off my heart shattered and tears began to come. 

 

We ate lunch in the house and planned out in our minds what we wanted to share in our Goodbye time.  We headed over to the church building, sang some songs and then the team stepped up one by one. And once again  I cannot express how proud I am of this team.  They shared their hearts and shared God’s word.  They chose a passage they felt fitting of the moment and would encourage our brothers and sisters in Buloba.  It was a sweet time. 

 

Then we had to say goodbye.  We tried to get that done the fastest... it didn’t work so good.  As we drove out of Bulboa we hollered back at our friends along the road.  Once we got out of Bulboa we pretty much were silent for the 45 minute drive home.

 

We got back, packed up, had our last meal and headed off to the airport under a beautiful sunset.  We said by to Lauren and Catherine who are staying another 2 weeks and bye to David, Eddie and Patrick.  We were blessed.

 

And I am running out of battery so I will finish off now and post more later.

 

Thank you for reading.  Thank you for praying.  I am honored by your partnership in the gospel. 

Thursday- bungee and sweet goodness

Thursday May 21

 

Can you say Bungee?  I can.  So today we went to Jinja which is about an hour and a half to the East. We left at 6am and were greeted with a great sunrise as we drove out of Kampala.  We headed past the tea and sugar cane fields.  When we arrived at Jinja we went to the Bunjagali Falls.  It is an amazing display of power.  We paid a guy to swim over the falls holding the jerry can and nothing else.  No lifejacket or floatation device around.  If there had been a crowd they also would have gone around and collected tips. 

 

After the falls we headed down to the Adrift base camp which is a backpacking place meets whitewater rafting or kayaking and bungee jumping.  Lauren, Morgan and Jordan decided they would take the plunge.  Catherine and Amanda were still hanging on to deciding until after they saw the other team members go.  Lauren went first- beautiful swan dive down and her hands hit the water.  Morgan was up next- great leap and a dunk in the nile up to her waist.  (That would be two days in a row for Morgan and the wet tshirt).  Jordan was up next- a little technical difficulty on the leap but everything worked out and in the water he went up to his waist as well.

 

Catherine and Amanda decided to step up to the challenge and went for it.  Josh had a little moral encouragement from Josh.  Amanda needed a little bit of a second “One Two Three Bungee”  to make the jump.  Catherine took no time what so ever and just went for it.  Morgan went for round two regular bungee dive.  Lauren went for a backwards bungee- beautiful execution.  Amazing stuff. 

 

Then up for round three Morgan and Lauren.  They chose to do a front leap with a little bit of a running start.  Fun thing was that when they got done with the fall it was like a swing.  It was amazing stuff.  And the team didn’t believe me that I was nervous every time someone jumped I was incredibly nervous.  But I will tell you, after watching them I almost wanted to do it.  (I do not enjoy the falling feeling, it’s not the scaryness or safety concern.) 

 

After bungee we headed down to the Source of the Nile.  We all hopped in a boat to ride down to the island next to the “source.”  Lake Victoria is right there and the nile begins to flow north.  We got out of the boat and walked around while our guide explained how the source works.  The mile zero marker stone is there so Jordan, Josh, Eddie (our driver), and I crabbed our way across the water to the stone and safely made it back.  The wind was blowing really big so the waves made it a little wet.  We met some guys from Indonesia who wanted pictures with us.  One of the guys said to me “you know indonesia?”  Me- “yes”  Him- “yes, you know us?  The country that supposedly had the tsunami in 2004?”  Me- “oh yes, I know that one.”

 

Then we headed to one of my favorite Bed and Breakfast places on earth- Gately on the Nile.  We had an amazing lunch looking at the Nile/Lake Victoria.  Then we headed across the street to the Amani Baby Cottage- an orphanage for children 5 and under.  There is a woman from TX who moved to Uganda 8 years ago to begin the orphanage.  Danyne said that she is able to adopt out most children by the age of 5- the required age they cannot keep.  She said that they have a few more children but they are special needs- autistic and other types they have had a hard time adopting out.  So if you know anyone interested in special needs adoptions from Uganda Just let me know and I can hook you up!