Available

so i quit my job this week

2011 ended great.  2012 began great. I'll post a Christmas update a bit later but suffice it to say I had a great December with my peeps. Sad my brother couldn't make the get together. 

I got to end 2011  with these folks

Yep. The scoreboard is correct (That would say "Auburn 43 Virginia 24") Auburn showed up.  You doubters. I yelled laughed and did some shakin.  As in shaking my shaker.  I'll post more on that later.  I am sure you didn't come here for the Chick Fil A Bowl 2011 play by play.  Or how two of my Christmas presents intersected to make Dec 31 a great day.

I quit my job.  That's what you want to hear about.

Hardest thing I have had to do in a long time. I love my job. I love the people i work with.  I love the people i work for.  But ever since I came to Arbor Springs I knew my time would end.  About 6 months after I started working there I felt in my heart that i knew the date I would leave "the Arbor" (as we love to call it).  And i am months past that date.  I just didn't know when/if I left where I would go.  So I stayed. 

Over the past 2 months people have been talking about me doing other jobs.  My sweet Texas BFF even started looking for jobs for me.  (I didn't ask her to. She just really wants me to move to be near her.) But I didn't feel like I should move.  And even though people now introduce me to others as "the girl who will one day live overseas" I don't know in my heart that I will live overseas 24/7/365.  As much as this 1st world America drives me nuts I feel like I am still called to help be a catalyst to cause folks to see outside their box and get involved with God's work.  I have always said that if I could find a job that I could work here part of the year and go overseas part that would be perfect and heavenly in my book.  Plus the thought of being overseas as a single person is overwhelming.  Not impossible, for anything is possible with God.  But tremendous issues exist because I am a woman overseas in the contexts i am interested in...issues.

So last week it just finally hit me like a freight train.  It is time to leave the Arbor.  Many many tears, prayers and sleepless nights/mornings later...I have turned in my notice.  My last official day is February 3.  I plan to work as needed there and will definitely be back to see my residents and amazing coworkers and smile on them as needed.

The plan- go to  AUM and get my whatever I need/masters thing so in a year (Fall 2013) I can teach.  Then my summers and holidays are free to go wherever and serve whomever. Here or there. Near or far. 

Challenge is, I am still in debt.  Now i have to figure out how to pay for school.  With a job that will be paying much less than now.  Sure I could stay where I am and go to school. And it would be amazing pressure.  But my time is over.  I cannot stay when I feel the Lord say move. 

Please pray- for the perfect person to take over my job to serve the families, residents and employees at Arbor Springs. 

- for my next job.  That I will serve in it with joy.

-for school.  for the timing to get it all done as soon as possible.  And to trust the Lord, and see His plan for paying for it.

I've been working on Brennan Mannings book Ruthless Truth.  I'd take a picture of it but a dog ripped the covers off of it this week.  As well as my journal.  Irony- the last sentence I wrote in my journal...I have to move on. No matter how hard.  That's the last page the dog left intact.  Guess it's on to the next chapter.  And a whole nother book (journal).

Happy 2012.  There is a lot packed into this year.  For each of us.  Let's press in to trust Him.  His plan. Not ours.  And be obedient to do what He says.  Even if it sounds a little crazy.

Tim Tebow and all his PDA

 Confession first- I was previously not a subscriber to what Tim Tebow did on any given weekend.  Unless it was a weekend he was playing Auburn.  Thankfully both those weekends turned out in Auburn’s favor.  I just couldn’t handle watching Florida play for any given reason outside of cheering on Auburn to beat them.  However, I did hear and read about his confessions of faith while he was at Florida.  And by the draft I was indeed interested in his future employer…Denver Broncos it will be.  I noted when he got his rookie head shave (not a fan). And when he finally started getting some playing time.   So call me a closet fan.

 

As the past few weeks go I have become more of a vocal fan.  I got to see his first “comeback” this season and a few since then.  And it doesn’t hurt that the man sports the orange and blue (my favorite color combo when it comes to sports).  And glory does he point to, kneel to, and honor the Lord.  And boy does it seem to rile folks up. 

 

I have been thinking about that the past week or so.  Why do people get so mad about it?  And I realized- it’s the PDA.  Yep. You know, the public displays of affection.  Just like your best friend who had to hold her boyfriends hand.  Or kiss him hello.  Or kiss him hello.  It annoyed you so much.  Why?

 

I am thinking that perhaps.  Just perhaps we get annoyed by SIMPLE PDA because we are jealous.  That they have a relationship where they are not afraid to show they love that person.  And we wish we did.  Perhaps the other person doesn’t like to do it.  Maybe they think it is “too much” in front of others.  Now, mind you I am not talking about the PDA we ALL dread.  As in “get a room” PDA.  But simple things. 

 

And perhaps they (Tebow haters) are jealous.  They don’t understand why Tim feels inclined to point to the sky. Bend his knee.  Speak honor to His king.  They don’t understand that every breath we each take is due him.  That the victories, the fight, the good, the bad, the ugly…we thank Him.  We praise Him.  We give him the glory.  It is what He is due.  It’s the least we can do.  So they talk smack.  They dis what they don’t understand.  What maybe they wish they had the guts to do.  Honor God in everyday life.  So they just keep on waiting for Tim to mess up. Say something dumb. Fail.  (it will happen. We all do it. We’re human.) And it makes me sad.  That folks can’t just be glad that someone delights in their job.  That they find satisfaction in what they do.  But ultimate satisfaction in something else…

 

Perhaps each of us should think how we can do likewise in our daily lives.  That others would encounter us and have no doubt that we have a love that we can’t help but give a little PDA to.  And it doesn’t hurt that Tebow backs up his signs and show with the words to back it up. 

 

I am encouraged by you brother Tim.  Keep after the prize. Speak the truth. Honor Him.  And if I can’t meet you on this side of heaven, I just might sport something Bronco number fifteen related.  Until I meet you around the throne on the other side. I thank you for your partnership in the gospel.  And yep, I’ll be cheering for you down here in Auburn. 

 

And this video with an inside look to the game made me smile.  Always wondered what they say during the games…Tim Tebow mic'd vs Bears

 

the funnel cake pictures

I failed to post these in the last blog.  Apologies.  You gotta love some funnel cake.

 

lost and found

Yesterday my sister Laura and her girls Brynn (1^st grader) and Ansley (3 yr old) journeyed with me to Stone Mountain.  As Ansley would say not just Stone Mountain but “Stone Mountain Christmas!” 

 

We arrived and went to 4D Polar Express movie, got snowed on in there, watched a couple of full tilt Christmas shows.  Brynn and Ansley insisted they get dipping dots. They correlate Stone Mountain with Dipping dots.  They were a little bit cold eating them.  And we had to eat them by the “Gingerbread house!!”

We rode the “Christmas” Train (we missed out on the Christmas Parade-we figured that was the best time to ride the train. We were correct).  The train had Christmas music that correlated with the lights they had set up on the side of the track.  And We stopped in the little town on the other side of the mountain to listen to a lady tell us about “The Gift” the story of Jesus.  And as she told the story the different characters would light up.  Pretty good stuff.

 

Then we decided to go get in line for Santa.  Everybody has to see Santa.  “It’s SANTA! I KNOW him!” (Thanks Buddy the Elf…I love that line.)   Laura took Brynn to get hot chocolate while we waited.  Then came back without hot chocolate, they ran out of hot water.  We waited some more.  Then Laura went with Brynn to try again.  Ansley was dying to get out of line so I said “Go with Momma”  So she headed up the hill right behind Brynn who was right behind Laura.  As they went around the corner I remember thinking “I hope Laura realizes Ansley is with her.  I don’t think she does.”  And the 10 plus minutes they were gone I was praying that Ansley was right behind them.  I almost left the line to go see.

 

Laura came back and I said “Where is Ansley?”  (she has a tendency to lag behind because she likes to walk to her own step.)  Laura’s reply “Oh that’s not funny.”  Oh no.  Ansley is LOST.  Yep.  I helped lose my niece at Stone Mountain.  With about six billion people.  Laura ran into the store to tell the lady to call the security folks.  The girl couldn’t get anyone on the phone.  While I am standing there a guy says “I hope they find it.”  I said “it’s a child!”  His statement “I hope they find him.  Well, I hope the right people find him.”  Are you kidding me?  Really? You just said that out loud?  Lady still trying to get the police on the phone, Laura comes in freaking out.  I said “I’m going to find someone.” 

 

I ran over to the food court and said “Where is a policeman?”  Girl said “right outside”  I went out the door and there were 3 security/police people.  I started to say “ I need help”  when I realize the Security lady has a pink ball of kid in her arms.  About that time I said something to the lady and Ansley turned around smiling and said “Hey AA.  I’m getting hot chocolate and a funnel cake!”  I pretty much said “Ansley! We have to find your momma!”  I think the security lady said “is that your sister?”  “Yep.” And I snatched her up and took off.  Finally found Laura.  The security lady said “She was right- you have brown hair and you are AA.” 

 

Needless to say my moments after getting Ansley and going to find Laura were scenes straight from a movie- everything slow mo but sped up.  And too many people in my way as I made my way back to the store.  And I am crying and laughing “Ansley we thought you were lost!”  Ansley said that she couldn’t find Momma so she told the police lady she needed help.  She needed to find momma.  And she said she would help me. 

 

Didn’t phase the kid a bit.  She was just mad because she wasn’t getting her funnel cake right then.  So we walked back to the Santa line and I said to the people who had been behind us (who had moved all of 3 feet up in line) “We’ve found our lost child now.  Do you mind if we get back in line?”  Woman’s reply (step mom of a 12 yr old in a fancy dress) “Um yes. I do mind.”  Whoa. Ok. Merry Christmas.  I will get behind you then in front of the nice grandma and her people.  And oh by the way- after you get your picture taken of your stepdaughter the computer messes up and you can’t get what you want.  I reserve the commentary as to why on that one…

 

Anyway. We see Santa.  Ansley with her coat on.  Her Stone Mountain Police sticker badge proudly displayed. 

Then we got to see our final show about Toys and Christmas spirit.  And the funnel cake.  And the Snow Angel flying over after making it snow and fireworks.  As Ansley said during the Train ride and as the Snow Angel lady hung in the air as it snowed on the audience “Perfect. It’s just perfect.”  Indeed it is. 

 

And as I type this out I am grateful. 

1. That I am not a parent.  Yesterday was more than I ever want to endure again.  Good and scary.  (I say this mostly in jest.  Parenting I am sure is wonderful.  I love kids.  But seriously.  Whoa to yesterday) Grocery store “lost” does NOT equate to theme park “lost”

2. That Ansley is a smart little kid and knows to ask police for help.

3. That she pretty much has no clue that being lost is a terrible thing.

4. For the Lord’s protection and provision

5.  For “The Gift” of Christmas.  Christ. For all of us. 

6. For the Holy Spirit’s involvement yesterday- I don’t know that my continual prayers meant anything in the midst of all that happened last night. But I think it did.  Ironically I looked at the map yesterday earlier in the day specifically to see what it said if you lost a kid what to do.  Lost and Found was all that was listed.

7. For the sweetness that Ansley and Brynn are and the joy of the Christmas season through their eyes and with them. 

8. For simple things like hot chocolate, snow, and funnel cakes. 

9. Being “found” and knowing ultimately I will never be “lost”

 

Now if I can only talk about last night without breaking into sobs. 

 

Enjoy your peeps.  Find a little magic this Christmas.  Give generously.  Love obnoxiously. Celebrate HIM.

 

I plan to get Ansley a lojack to plant in her shoes. Just fyi.

lotta K's goin on

I have talked about Katie Davis before.  And Brook Hills in Bham.  And David Platt.  And last sunday the universe lined up and all three were located in the same place.  And I got to be there.

Katie wrote a book about her so far life in Uganda and has been in the STates for a few weeks doing a tour.  And she shared at Brook Hills last weekend.  So I took a journey up there. Spent some time with Beth Ann in the Honda, stopped at the home of the grouchy burger....

burger next time. 

Church. 

Dinner with my sister Stina and a stop at the Krispy Kreme.  Oh how I love me some doughnuts.(non minimalist in this department)   (Although I discovered the new KK on 280 is not a real deal in my opinion...they make the doughnuts, put them on trays, bring them out front to reheat them and send them through the icing fountain.  I was aghast.  I want full service from making to frying to icing...all hot in one sitting. I digress.)

 

I bought the book.

Read it in 2 days.  And am sending it to a friend.  And I continue to chew on What God has for me next.  And pray.  And ask you to pray.  for Katie. for Uganda. for what God is up to in the world. For what He wants you to do in it.  And me.

Thanks.

you don't need what?

For those of you who follow along, you know I tend to be a minimalist. 

I turn off the water while i brush my teeth til i need it. I don't use ice at home.  fridge cold is fine, im too lazy, and that ice bucket takes up too much space.  I heat the room i am in during the winter and not the whole house typically.

Well, i decided that I dont' really need a big ol towel.  I get out of the shower, dry off and move on.  I don't wrap my head or wrap up in the big towel.  So why use it?  it doesn't really all get wet.  And i can only wash 3 in the washer at a time (I got a small washer) so why not use a good size hand towel?

I know. I know. Hand towels are for HANDS.  But for now, they are good enough.  I get that hand towel as wet as can be.  But it works.  Saves on the washing and makes sure I get  good use outta what I got.

But do not fret- I still have my beach towels (all 2 of them).  And some bath towels for the rare visitors to the ol cabin.  You don't need to bring your own.  I will have ya covered.

And lest you think that I am overboard in my minimalism...I promise to soon show you my non minimalist ways. 

i need a secretary

I am not even going to try to come up with reasons i haven't blogged lately.  Daily I come home with thoughts and things i would like to blog but I forget them when i get home and I don't have some fancy thing that will type what i dictate in the car.  So there. Sorry.  I have missed you bloggies.

Went to Stone Mountain with My sister Laura and her girlies Brynn and Ansley.  We ended up at SMP last October on a whim and it turned out to be Pumpkin festival.  Well we planned it out this time.  Camping and all.  Sad to say that the decorate your own mini pumpkin event was not there.  Major fail.  So disappointing we failed to take a single picture in the pumpkin patch.  But we had a great time with everything else.  Thankful for the opportunity to spend time with these peeps.  And to do something so simple. 

 

Some pictures from that weekend.

Ansley chillin in her seat with Brynn.

at one of the memorials I didn't even know existed until this weekend. 

Beautiful day to pass out in the yard

Lest you readers think I'm an exaggerator (well I CAN be, but in this case no)...let me share a little history. I have lived 37 years on this planet and officially passed out 1 time. And almost passed out 2 times that I can recall. Add this morning and make that 3 times.
The only time I ever officially passed out was Thanksgiving weekend when I was in 11th grade. My brother and I drove to Tupelo to get our Paw Paw and drive to the cousins house in Bartlesville Oklahoma. The time was fun but from what I can recall early mornings with big breakfast and late nights doin a bunch of randomness with the cousins and their church friends. And benadryl...lots of benadryl. I'm allergic to anything with fur. And the cousins had animals with fur.
Sooo add all that up and factor in getting up at seriously like 430 or 5 am to drive back to Tupelo this chick was tired.
We drove through arkansas and I remember taking an earlier shift driving. I recall eating a couple of handfuls of cheerios in the backseat of the little blue car and being so past hungry when we got to a Mickey D's. I remember ordering as I literally leaned on the counter. And closing my eyes for a second. Next thing I know the lady has my food and holding out her hand for my money. I picked up my tray and turned to look for seating for the three of us. (The others were ordering). I remember seeing a table with some nuns in dark green habits and thinking- I just have to make it to that table over by them and I will be okay. Yeaaaah. As I finished this thought in my head I saw my tray drop out of my left hand, food sliding down off the tray onto the floor. Cut to me looking up at the ceiling and my brother looking down at me saying something along the lines of "are you okay?"
Yep. Passed out in McDonalds. On Thanksgiving weekend. Full house. Lots of drama. And my takeaway from this? Being irritated because my brother took my remaining cash and bought a second lunch. Dude the sweet manager coulda spotted me for a free second burger. And the fact that my aunt was convinced I was anorexic. This thought was established in her head because I don't eat a pound of food at 7 am and can't eat dessert right after a full meal. A. Not a big eater right after I get up. I gotta warm up to the day. B.  This branch of Longests eat dessert...about 30 min to an hour after dinner. More room ;). Now add in this Mc Donalds event, my cousins told me later my aunt was sure her theory was correct. To this day I feel compelled to finish whatever is on my plate whenever she is around. I order carefully when eating out because I can rarely finish a whole meal when eating out. Haha

  One of the times I almost passed out was at Six Flags in August waiting in line for the mind bender. Hot. hungry. The blackness drawing in. I literally sat down in the line and announced lunch and water was next on the agenda. Crisis averted. And thank goodness because this was the first family outing with Dad's new girlfriend who is now my stepmom Barbara. So glad that pass out at Six Flags drama was avoided.

Which brings me to my run this morning. Doing fine. 15 minutes into a 40 minute run. The lightheaded squirrely headed feeling hit. I'm fixin to go down. So I feebly stepped over to the shade. Laid down in the grass of the back 40 of the Porter compound while my ipod played "Shout to the Lord" and thought- "well, if my brain or heart exploded right now...this aint a bad way to go-listenin to shout to the Lord and lookin at the trees and sky on a beautiful day."
I'm still here. Heart beating, blood flowing, vessels intact, and still wondering why oh why did I start this running thing?
But grateful for the opportunities to use what I got. And enjoy what God gave me. But if I don't reply to calls or texts in a timely fashion it might be cause I'm napping (read passed out) out on the trail behind the cabin, so take a look for my crazy self laid out in the yard.

Happy sunday. Use what you got. Enjoy what God gave you. Especially on a day like today.

andi, do you even LIKE boys?

This week has been a full week.  And it’s only Tuesday morning at 12:34am.  But starting a week off remembering 9-11 Ten years ago followed by a typical “Monday” at work makes a week feel long.  That and it’s past midnight and I am wide awake.

 

I wanted to answer a question that comes up from time to time and some of you are thinking yet don’t feel courageous enough to ask (Because some of you would be appalled that the other some of you would even ask it to me).  So I will answer it for all of you wonderers.

 

“Andi, do you want to be married?”  or perhaps your question comes more in the form of “Andi, do you like boys?” 

 

Second version first- no.  Not boys.  I am into Men these days.  Boys was back in 1989 and that didn’t work out too well, waiting on my boyfriend’s brother to pick us up for our date because I was 14 and the guy I was “dating” was only 13, was just too time constraining.

 

Really.  I am 37 years old.  I don’t date. Much.  Okay, hardly ever. I don’t talk about boys. Well, I do but not much.  I don’t dress fufu.  I don’t get all giddy and flirty.  So some of you out there tend to ask yourself why. Welllllllllllll here’s the answers.  In no specific order or importance.

 

Fufu tends to not be utilitarian.  Or comfortable.  I have some fufu clothes- they restrain free movement. And my cute shoes hurt the snot out of my feet and squish my toes into a point.  Just not worth it most days.  So I save it up for special occasions.  And some days the fufu doesn’t hold up to my very active lifestyle.  Moments of awkward flashing might occur.  So I stay safe.

 

I don’t talk about boys or flirt or get all noticeably giddy because my eye is not on snagging me a man.  My job is not to seek out a man.  I cannot allow my role to be the one doing the seeking or the getting or the leading.  Or that will translate into the rest of my relationship with that person and based on prior experience- I need the guy to lead and do the decision making.  It just works best (and is biblical).  But trust me, when the feeling hits I will get and do get giddy.  Just most of the public won’t know about it.  Trust me, He will.  And my circle of trust folks.  But as I tell people “You all won’t live vicariously through my love life.”  Sorry.  It’s just too much to share for my girly interior.  But you can ask my friend Ryan who saw me being giddy over my boyfriend I snagged after the back to school 7^th grade dance- I was giddy.  As in “I will never not wear this sweater again.”  Please note the relationship lasted about 9 days before he was on to someone else.  But my sweet friend Ryan would probably tell you as she laughs about it- if she even remembers.  But I do vividly. 

 

I don’t date much because I cannot stand blind dates.  My ideal situation is knowing someone for quite some time and that guy deciding he would like to date me.  Past experience speaks truth to this.  The most successful (of my obviously “failed”) relationships worked best in this mode.  And if you want a laugh, just sit next to me and let me tell you about all the times I STUNK up the WESTERN hemisphere with my failing to break up well with someone.  I break up worse than…. Well…. Than a lot of things. 

 

I can undeniably tell you doubters out there that there I have dated.  I have falled in love.  I thought I had the man…  There was a guy back in my Texas days that saw me share my story on stage one Mothers Day at church.  He decided that day he liked me.  Over a year later we actually had some positive interaction at a youth event.  And some time later we began to hang out because we were both in the praise band at church.  Meaning, we talked and joked when we got lost while practicing our cover songs for church with the praise band on Wednesday nights.  We spent time going dutch to movies and sometimes group events. Spoke on the phone all summer while I was at camp.  When I  got back to town after camp it hurt to breathe when I thought about him. You can say I was in love.  He wrote the sweetest notes/letters.  Left them in the most creative locations during work and school.  And drew the funniest little cartoons.  Told the best stories.  Liked music. Liked kids.  Loved Jesus. But it didn’t work out.  He couldn’t be the leader.  I couldn’t trust him.  In the end it was all too hard.  It had to end.  Not the fairy tale story we girls tend to want.

 

Except for the end part it was perfect.  The way I want a relationship to develop.  Over time without all the “so tell me about your parents” drama over an awkward table at OCharleys.    And I KNOW the Lord is good.  And He could work it out over that table…but my prayer has always been that He would work it out the other way.  For that man to know my heart before he hears me ramble awkwardly over spinach dip alone somewhere in a restaurant.  For that guy to hear my heart for the Lord more than the word vomit that can sometimes spew out of my mouth when I try to fill silence.

 

For those of you who have wondered.  Who have questioned-why is Andi still single?  Please know that I am ok with it.  And I would be completely ok with a man who loves Jesus more than me coming along.  And thank you for wondering.  Thank you for wanting to find that someone for me.  I appreciate your heart.  For now I would ask you to do one thing- when I come to your mind, Pray.  Ask the Lord to do what He will in my heart.  And if that guy Is out there in His heart.  That he would step up and be the leader.  The man I know I need. For often days I don’t even pray much about it because then I will find myself wondering “Is this HIM?” Or is this the gathering where he will see me? Hmmmm so I ask you to pray for one of the few things that I don’t like to pray about.  I just set it back in the Almighty Loving Hands of the Man who Holds My heart today.   And if you know a guy who loves Jesus.  More than you think he would love a girl.  Then maybe have a party.  Invite us both over.  And then later think up some other event to have us around for.  And see what happens…

 

And I believe. I know. When the time comes, when that guy comes, the fufu clothes will have more occasion to start coming out of the closet.  But I will have to buy new shoes.

Until then...I'm gonna go sortof cute and comfortable. 

Yep. Still here.

I promise I haven't forgotten the five of you who read my little blog. Just a lot going on in my heart and some days it just seems best to not put it out there. Because it would be jumbled up "whaaaattt is she talking about" most days.

Reading a new book (to me) by Brennan Manning on Trust and the timing this wk is divine. God spot on.

Heart breaks for Erin Stephens family. She was a big life lover. And had her hands in so much to help so many. She will be missed. I always felt that she supported me in my corner. Numerous ways and times. I love her family. And my prayers are for them. Similarities in so many ways to my story-it makes my heart heavy to understand what they are feeling.
God is good. God is sovereign. His ways is best. Even on tough weeks like this. We trust.